Unified Patent Court will replace its judges and lawyers with AI to make justice finally affordable to SMEs

Brussels, 1st April 2023 — The Unified Patent Court has announced that they will fire all their elected judges and replace them with GPT7, a cheaper sentient artificial intelligence that produce better results than human judges. The Court said lawyers will be replaced as well, finally realizing the 2000 year old promise from the Roman era of an affordable justice for all. Small companies complained about the unaffordable 20.000EUR of court fees, to meet the quaterly results of a self-financed court, that will finance itself over the number of disputes it generates.

The Court announced that it could not find a balance between high salaries for its judges and accessibility of the court for small companies. The decision of the Court to replace judges and lawyers with AI fits with its objective to become a fully electronic court.

The german President of the Court Klaus Grazinski is not happy with the decision of unelected diplomats, and that he will appeal the decision to the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), because highly experienced judges deserve a high salary.

Independent Software developer and Django addict Thomas Boulet does not welcome the news:

“We asked for that the European Court of Justice have a say on software patents, and politicians instead made litigation more affordable for patent trolls. I really need to change of job and switch to patent litigation, before software developers are finally replaced by the next version of GPT8.”

Patent attorneys, patent lawyers, patent judges and software developers have formed an astonishing alliance to ban AI in the forthcoming EU’s AI Act, calling on law makers to ban such tools. Groups who were fighting against each other during the failed 2005 software patent directive are now forming an uncommon group to save their well paid jobs.

Now that GPT7 can produce hundreds of quality patents per hour, companies see no need to pay expensive patent attorneys to draft their patents.

Anti-patent campainer Richard Stellman also welcomed the move the use AI for patent generation:

“The only barrier left for the abolishment of the patent system is the fee to file a patent at the patent office. If we could replace patent examiners with AI, that fee could dissapear, and millions of new patents could be filed per day, polluting the system to a level where the only solution is to the abolish it.”

Past president of FIFI and CEO of iMatrix Pieter Hantjens regret that business has not been left to big business as previously planned by the countries participating in the Unified Patent Court:

Business should be left to Big Business. Patent litigation should be expensive to keep small companies at bay, as that was the original plan of the golden Unified Patent Court.


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